


Get dressed!

by Chubby Skater (levi_robbed_my_tea_cupboard)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Clothes, Comedy, Hasetsu, M/M, Mari helps, Post-Canon, VictUuri, Victuuri Summer Loving, Victuuri Summer Loving 2019, aka yuuri has my sense of fashion, comedy of errors kind of, i literally am not able to write sth serious, idk how to tag, idk how to title (as always), victor suffers because of that, yuuri has no sense of fashion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-18 01:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20630489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/levi_robbed_my_tea_cupboard/pseuds/Chubby%20Skater
Summary: Post-cannon summer stories written for Lightingcatters for Victuuri Summer Loving 2019 EventPropmt 1: Yuuri's summer wordrobe drives Victor mad. (In which Victor deserves better and you don't mess with Mari)Prompt 2: Victor will use any excuse to have his nips out - especially summer. It's not immediately apparent whether it's for Yuuri's benefit, hindrance, or pure coincidence. (In which all the world is against Yurio)Prompt 3: Victuuri use the summer holidays (i.e. the summer part of the off-season) to attempt Proper Normal Couple Dates. These dated are not necessarily successes :3 (In which all Yuuri wants is a little undisturbed privacy with his bae)(It's a coincidence, but prompt numbers are same with chapter numbers, with mostly chronological order of events .-.)





	1. Nothing gives your curves justice like my hands do, but... (Victor)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thisbedutch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisbedutch/gifts).
**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading Lightningcatters :)
> 
> Propmt 1: Yuuri's summer wordrobe drives Victor mad. (Whether because it's terrible or it's great, take it as you will :D)
> 
> OH I took it, and it was way too much fun

It starts in May, when white nights reach Petersburg and suddenly Yuuri’s evening loungewear becomes annoying. Victor didn’t complain back in Hasetsu because there was no reason for that, with Yuuri’s family all over the place and the door to his bedroom cruelly closed for the initial weeks, Victor could only fantasize about his sleeping piggy in his own head. To be perfectly honest, in his dreams Yuuri has hardly ever worn any clothes and if he has they haven’t been necessarily meant to cover anything. But that was then, when Victor’s fiancé-to-be was hidden in another room and later, when he moved to Victor’s flat, in the dark of the night.

And now Victor stares at the love of his life and tries to figure out a way to undress him, no sexual context involved. He just wants to get rid of the… The filthy thing covering his chest and most of arms and looking as if it was used to clean the entire staircase. Twice. Or thrice maybe? Victor isn’t sure, he’s not an expert in cleaning after all.

The clock shows over two hours after midnight and the sun starts shining again through the undone window blinds, lighting up Yuuri’s silhouette, doffing his belly button which miraculously escaped the clothing disaster. The light doesn’t reach Yuuri’s eyes, covered by an eye mask that Victor handled him the other night, accidentally prised by Yuuri who didn’t exactly get what that was for (And why on Earth everybody thinks all Victor’s thoughts are somehow dirty? He can’t get it, like, at all.) until a couple of nights later when the sun made it impossible for him to sleep through the night without the mask or heavy curtains.

Victor, on the other hand, _loves_ the white nights. Once he gets used to them there is something calming about the ever present light and he feels slightly uncomfortable traveling outside Russia during summer. The darkness is uneasy. And so is the awareness of Yuuri resting next to him wearing the hideous lump, God, why is he torturing him? Victor can’t sleep knowing about this… this, ugh!

Yuuri moves in his sleep, rising a hand above his head and reviling a hole on the armpit level and Victor is done. He can’t handle it anymore. Very, very slowly, trying his best not to wake Yuuri up, he moves the rim of the shirt up and up until it reaches the arms. That is when it gets hard as Victor has to put Yuuri’s arms all the way through the sleeves, but somehow he manages, leaving Yuuri with the shirt around his head.

Victor makes a brake and slightly rises Yuuri’s head, trying to pull the hideous T-shirt from his face as gently as possible, paying attention not to remove the mask and wake his fiancé up. He frees both Yuuri’s ears and finally throws the terrible cloth form the bed, admiring his piggy in all his glory. Well, half of it to be precise, but Victor is weirdly convinced Yuuri wouldn’t really appreciate him taking of his pants just like that and even if Victor somehow got rid of the abomination of a T-shirt from his lovely future husband, Yuuri’s boxers would be a different story.

Victor, obviously, is an idiot.

He reaches for the quilt edge to cover Yuuri, who gets cold at night even in summer, only to be pinned to the mattress by his apparently not so asleep piggy.

“Yuu…” Two fingers moves from his chest to the edge of Victor’s mouth and quiet him. Yuuri gives an undefined sound and leans to kiss him, possessively trapping Victor’s lips. Victor gasps, his fingers trailing up Yuuri’s back to remove the eye band but Yuuri doesn’t let him, leading Victor’s hands from the patch to his boxers. Oh yes, right, now Victors remembers. He’s an idiot and he knows nothing. Not about Yuuri, apparently.

Yuuri keeps his eye mask on and can’t see a thing so blindly palpates Victor’s entire body with all he got. Or that is how it feels like for Victor who wants to return all the love, but it’s difficult to move when you are melting to the bed, completely and ultimately disarmed by a surprise attack from the least expected side. It’s hard to resist Yuuri’s touch, both more uneven and intent than usually, but the thing is Victor doesn’t want to resist, because why would he? So he doesn’t and lets Yuuri do, watching him enchanted and silent until the end. Almost.

And all that thanks to one wretched T-shirt.

* * *

It continues later in the summer when they pack for vacation. Or actually, when Victor packs them for vacation because he’s a devious creature. Yuuri, suspecting nothing, is at the ice rink with Yurio whom Victor bribed promising him… Well, promising him _something_. Who cares now? Definitely not Victor, as he has his own problems to take care of, including a terrible collection of Yuuri’s grey T-shirts in different phases of outwearing that Victor has no idea what to do with. Preferably he would throw all of them away here and there, maybe saving the one memorable T-shirt that Yuuri sometimes sleeps in and that earned Victor lovely reminiscence, but that would make him a terrible boyfriend. Besides, the grey T-shirts are only the top of the iceberg which consists of terribly old hoodies, self-styled pairs of random socks, jeans that would be considered stylish when they were both kids, more socks, this time dedicated specifically for sleeping, converse that might be white once and stretched to the edge sweatpants, one of which Victor is convinced Yuuri has been wearing in _Juniors_, which a message to Mari immediately confirms.

Yuuri’s winter wardrobe is a different story. It contains mostly practice clothes and the rest is representable enough to wear in front of cameras during competitions (though don’t make Victor start on Yuuri’s evening tie choices, just don’t) but as for summer it’s a disaster. Victor cannot process how he didn’t notice it last year at first, but then he reminds himself what a wreck of a human he was back then and, well… Fair enough.

Victor’s plan was to go through Yuuri’s clothes himself and choose what he finds the best but it’s impossible in given circumstances, as there is nothing to choose from. So instead he packs two suitcases of his own clothes, trying to choose some of his older pants that after folding and adding a belt could fit Yuuri and plans to take Yuuri shopping, _serious_ _shopping_, once they’re back. Or even in Hasetsu. And then he’ll pray for a fire or maybe a mini black hole that would delete Yuuri’s grey T-shirts and old sweatpants from this reality. Once and for all.

He doesn’t appreciate Yuuri’s love for ugly clothes in slightest.

They arrive to Yuu-Topia and Yuuri doesn’t even bother to unpack to get a change of clothes, just goes straight to his old wardrobe and pulls out even more boring, grey clothes. It’s a crime to be this hot and wear them.

Victor has a backup plan and that is called Mari. His backup plan laughs him down and points that Yuuri’s worship went to the point when he got all his clothes is Victor’s hair and eyes colour. Victor doesn’t appreciate the joke but pretends he does because in the scale of people that Victor knows he shouldn’t annoy at all cost for some reason Yuuri’s sister has a particularly high place, much above Yakov, definitely above Yurio and she ranks even higher than some of his sponsors. Victor isn’t sure why, it must have something to do with his survival instincts.

Good for Victor that Mari also sees the problem with Yuuri’s clothes and is willing to cooperate. So Victor incurs another debt and arranges for Yuuri skating session with Yurio in the Ice Castle and with Mari they drag empty cartons to Yuuri’s room.

“I can’t believe I can finally do that.” Victor hears Mari mumbling when she throws the clothes to the boxes without any order. They empty the dresser out of T-shirts and Mari bluntly throws a pile of Yuuri’s old socks into a rubbish bag. Victor goes through the hangers hoping to find something wearable but quickly realises that the best pieces of Yuuri’s wardrobe were left in Petersburg and what was left in Hasetsu was the actual crap.

They’re done surprisingly quickly because Yuuri’s clothes collection isn’t that big, they’re just so hideous that they completely overwhelm Victor. Once all the boxes are stored safely on the back of the onsen’s storage room Victor comes back to Yuuri’s childhood bedroom and stares at the empty closet. It looks refreshing and Victor is excited about filling it with something that would actually highlight all the gorgeous aspects of Yuuri’s body rather than make them completely unnoticeable.

Victor is excited about yet another thing which is what Yuuri would wear until their big shopping adventure and which in his mind is absolutely obvious: Victor’s clothes. Which makes him excited like a child. He can already imagine Yuuri wearing his own old jeans, folded enough to show his ankle and kept in place with a nice belt highlighting Yuuri’s spectacular waist. And that with one of his wide boat neckline T-shirt that will definitely show off one of Yuuri’s shoulders. Yum…

“Victor, where did you put my T-shirts?” Victor freezes when Yuuri enters the room. His plan is perfect except for one aspect. Confrontation.

“Your T-shirts?” Victor asks, acting dumb.

“Yeah, where did you pack them?” Yuuri turns towards the closet and grabs the handle. “I cannot find them anywhere.” He opens the closet and… “What happened here?”

“What?”

“Victor! What happened to my clothes?!”

Victor gulps. “I might have forgotten to pack them.” He admits, wondering how much longer he can act dumb.

“I’m not asking for that. What happened to my _whole closet_?!” Yuuri moves away to show Victor the empty shelves.

“It looks fine to me.”

“Where are my clothes?”

“You took them to Petersburg, remember?”

Yuuri rolls his eyes. “They’ve been there in the morning, before we left to the ring, what the… Oh no. It’s one of Mari’s stupid jokes, I bet it is.”

Yuuri storms down and Victor quickly texts Mari. They’re in one team now and need to keep each other safe. The three dots don’t disappear when Victor hears hushed but annoyed voice of his piggy and, much louder, Mari’s. She says something quickly and snorts. Victor has been living there long enough to know she leans her hands on her hips now and looks at Yuuri with total jeer. She adds something and Yuuri continues his word tirade.

Victor isn’t sure what they say except for single words that don’t make a sentence but he tiptoes down the stairs. There Yuuri squints at Mari and she looks at him as if he was insane and Victor makes a note to congratulate for the acting skills.

“Is everything ok?” He asks.

“Yuuri is being dumb, so nothing new really.”

“Sorry Victor, but it’s not something you would understand. You’d have to grow up with Mari or live with someone like Phichit for a while to actually realise that hiding the entirety of somebody’s belongings isn’t as unlikely to happen as it sounds.”

“Are you _insane_?” Mari asks.

“I’m not _insane_! They were there a few hours ago and now they’re _gone_!”

“And you didn’t bring any with you?”

Yuuri gets quiet. “No.” He admits. “I didn’t have time to pack so Victor did and he packed like one button up that was meant for more special occasions and a pair of sneakers. Not that he minded it, he’d almost forgotten to pack his passport.” Yuuri rolles his eyes.

They are about to start the next wave of the quarrel when Yurio appears next to them.

“What’s on?” He asks, eyes shining but he pretends he couldn’t care less.

“Victor didn’t pack hardly anything for me to wear and the rest of my clothes that I left here has disappeared in _mysterious circumstances_.” Yuuri says, looking into Mari’s eyes at the end of the sentence.

Yurio shrugs. “It’s your fault if you let _Victor_ pack you.”

“I had to if we wanted use the free ice last Wednesday.” Yuuri sighs.

Yurio opens his mouth and Victor gives him a look. _Look. “Say one world too much and we’re over, Yuratchka.”_

And Yurio gets it but he’s a mean, mean person.

“I can borrow you some of mine.” He offers and Victor’s entire plan of making his piggy wear his clothes exclusively and tease him about it and oh… Oh! The entire plan is ruined when Yuuri hesitantly agrees.

* * *

Yurio’s clothes fit Yuuri much better than Victor is willing to admit. Damn, they’re slightly too short and small in general, so they hug Yuuri in every possible way, forcing him to instantly pull the T-shirt down to make sure it doesn’t show his bellybutton. A pair of Yurio’s black skinny jeans is extremely starched on Yuuri’s butt and exposes his ankles without folding. Somehow even Yuuri’s old sneakers look good with them, disabling Victor from looking away and probably smiling like an idiot.

Victor decides to wait with the shopping until they’re back in Petersburg and rely on Yurio’s clothes since Yurio is convinced it annoys Victor and is perfectly happy to offer half of his wardrobe. Well, he’s happy to do it for the first two days, until he catches them the second evening doing, in Victor’s opinion, nothing indecent, really. It’s not that they would make out in the hallway between Yuuri’s old bedroom and Victor’s former room that now is given to Yurio. Or at least they wouldn’t with Yurio around, or remembering Yurio may be around. Which information must have somehow escaped Victor’s memory when he and Yuuri came back from the beach where they might or might have not enjoy a few not so soft drinks with something high-proof in them. Just enough to make Yuuri tipsy and Victor forgetful, which might be why Yurio is yelling and them now. Making a lot of noise about nothing and screaming something about stretching.

Victor slowly removes his hand from under Yurio’s, currently worn by Yuuri, T-shirt, very annoying T-shirt to be precise and looks at Yurio with a questioning and polite face, or that’s what he aims for. Then a little surprised with Yurio’s request, he helps his piggy to set free from this slightly too tight T-shirt and with a smile handles it to Yurio, waving him goodbye before he closes Yuuri’s bedroom door behind them.

* * *

When they head to the shopping mall Victor feels betrayed. What has he done to deserve getting Yuuri served in the sexiest outfits he’s ever seen on him and then get deprived of seeing him in them anymore only two days later? He did nothing, ever, in his life to deserve this. Nevermind purposefully leaving all Yuuri’s clothing in Petersburg, it was for his fiancé’s own good!

And for what he’s deprived of that? For going shopping in a bazar like mall when what he has been imagining was taking Yuuri to some actual stores and boutiques and have so much fun. That’s just not fair.

All of this makes Victor resigned and he traipses behind the Yuris ready to offer his wallet at any time and weirdly convinced there will be no need for that when he notices a few hangers Yuuri picked up to try on. Oh no. No no no. Not _this_ again!

“How about this?” Victor asks, handing Yuuri a simple dark blue T-shirt with deep neckline and slim fit cut. At the same time he takes the hangars from Yuuri’s hands, all with grey to black T-shirt with chokingly high collars. Ugh.

“It’s…”

Yuuri doesn’t get a chance to end his answer because Yurio comes with a handful of clothes and pulls Yuuri’s shoulder.

“Come on, Katsudon, let’s try this on.” Yurio is very desperate to make sure Victor will never see his piggy in slightly too small clothes ever again. He waves the hangers and Victor notices with a relief that there’s no tiger print among them and secretly hides the hangers he took over from his fiancé between woman’s clothing. That was close.

Once he gets used to the place the market isn’t that bad. Victor goes through hanger after hanger and shelf after shelf and brings armfuls of textiles to the fitting cubicle. He gets so hot he has to unbutton his shirt at some point. A pink shirt with a dog print draws Victor attention and though he’s weirdly convinced he won’t convince his piggy to wear it he brings it to the cubicle. Victor pretends he doesn’t see Yurio’s glare.

* * *

Victor tries his best to look chill when Yuuri empties the shopping bags and fills his closet but it’s difficult. First because it’s pleasing to watch his Yuuri bustle in front of the shelves. So sweet and homey. But then there’s a twinge of guilt that maybe he could resolve the clothing problem in a different, more civilised way. He’s about to tell Yuuri the truth when there’s a knock on the door.

“Can I have Victor for a while?” Mari asks, her tone making it obvious it’s rather an order than an ask.

“Half a while.” Yuuri hisses, still convinced the disappearing clothes are Mari’s and Mari’s only doing.

“I won’t eat him.” Mari smirks. “Unlike you.”

Yuuri gives her a defiant look but says nothing.

When Mari leads them to the storage room where Yuuri’s old clothes are hidden Victor wonders if that’s how it feels to come back to a murder scene. Probably yes. Victor notices a change in the cartons arrangement, now they slightly resemble a table and poufs. Even more when Mari sits on one of the “poufs”.

“Let’s make one thing clear.” She says and lights a cigarette. “Yuuri can never get to know what happened to the clothes.” She takes a puff. “Well, maybe after, let’s say, twenty years.”

Even if Victor felt guilty it’s nothing compared to the certainty that he doesn’t want to get in Mari’s way. Ever. _Survival instinct_, he remembers. So he nods.

“Good.” Mari says and leaves for a while. She comes back with two steamy bowls of Katsudon and a bottle of sake. “We won a battle.” She shrugs.

Victor cannot argue with that.

Sitting on the remainings of Yuuri’s old hideous clothing and chewing a piece of finely fried pork Victor thinks that whatever his instincts say he’s going to have a first-class sister-in-low.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “So now that we have all settled…” Mari says. “…what will we do with all of this?”  
Victor munches, munches, munches.
> 
> I hope it shows it's the summer after Barcelona, if not I failed it D: Besides, Mari attacked me halfway through writing and did not let diminish her role in the intrigue 😅
> 
> (This is first time ever I write a fic for sb else not just me and I feel ten times more self-conscious about it then usually)  
((*tries to post it without a title*))  
(((*pries to the Typo God for no typos but this will never happen*)))  
((((Oh and the following prompts/chapters are actually a continuation of this. Kind of. Dovetailing and chronological order.))))


	2. Kill me please (Yurio)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 2: Victor will use any excuse to have his nips out - especially summer. It's not immediately apparent whether it's for Yuuri's benefit, hindrance, or pure coincidence.
> 
> When I saw this prompt I was super confused and had hard time trying to imagine how this could be a problem so ofc I had to try.

Yuri knew from the very beginning that vacation with Katsudon and The Old Man would suck, but the alternative was staying the whole summer except the ice shows in Russia. Yuri’s grandpa didn’t think letting him travel unsupervised at the age of 16 was a good idea since he was life-long grounded after the trip to Hasetsu last spring. Then Katsudon appeared with the invitation and Yuri was doomed. Well, MAYBE it would be nice to meet Yuuko again and MAYBE the triplets were kind of fun and the closest to have a younger siblings relationship kind of stuff, but that didn’t mean Yuri would come if he wasn’t forced to. Definitely not.

As if they weren’t enough annoying and gross on the daily basis, Victor started to act weird a while before they left. First he begged him to ask Katsudon for assistance at the rink and even promised Yuri to go with him to the new cat café (holly Bastet, double win!) and then was staring at Yuuri with weird eyes that could be both guilty and needy, gross! Yuri pulled his hood down and put on earplugs to fence off the idiots in love.

Victor, obviously, must have sat on the middle, was it to have Katsudon all for himself or make sure Yuri wouldn’t be able to have a peaceful flight, he wasn’t sure. Yuri was almost pressing the shuffle button on his playlist when Victor started to squeak and Yuri withdrew. Not that he was going to eavesdrop, he was just curious, but they were only babbling about their dog and other irrelevant stuff, so eventually Yuri pressed the play button and feel asleep.

He woke up when he felt a weight pressing him from the right. He rose his hood and saw Victor leaning on his arm in his sleep. His ridiculous fringe was tickling Yuri’s collarbone, what the hell? How Katsudon could possibly put up with that old geezer? Apparently pretty well, because he was almost lying on Victor and pushing him towards Yuri. Wonder-fucking-ful. Why couldn’t they take the business class and leave Yuri alone in the safe of the economic? Obviously to make that trip even more of a pain.

Victor’s snoring successfully prevented him from falling back to sleep for the remaining two hours of their flight. He glanced at Katsudon dripping saliva down Victor’s shirt and reached to close his mouth. The move was too much for Victor, who readjusted his position and pressed even closer to Yuri, hugging his arm in the process. Could the vacation get any worse?

* * *

Of-fucking-course it could.

Victor continued being a disgusting pervert.

The day they arrived somehow Yuri won a fight, being perfectly sure that Victor purposefully packed only his own clothes to get to stare at Katsudon parading in Victor’s shirts and make Yuri’s guts twist. So Yuri offered him to borrow his own clothes, which were much closer to Katsudon’s actual size and Victor wouldn’t drool seeing Yuuri in Yuri’s clothes.

Instead of Victor would and did, surely thinking he was being discreet and unnoticeable. Yuri could survive that if it wasn’t connected with Victor’s sudden inclination to exhibitionism, which manifested with him constantly walking topless through the Yuu-Topia, and in most of public places with his shirt unbuttoned. To Yuri’s satisfaction these pitiful attempts to draw Yuuri’s attention seemed to be unnoticed, contrary to Victor’s hungry eyes glued to the strip of skin between Katsudon’s pants and T-shirt. How pathetic.

He could somehow survive all the stares and glowing with bare chest anytime Katsudon was nearby. At least it wasn’t about him and he could shove it out of his head later. What he couldn’t survive was Victor wrecking one of Yuri’s favourite T-shirts between Katsudon and himself. Victor, sure thing, wearing only a pair of shorts and pressing himself to Yuuri right in front of Yuri’s bedroom. Stretching his T-shirt so much Yuri thought the stiches wouldn’t survive that. So he requested to give it back and regretted it a while later, when Victor in a very unequivocal way peeled it from Katsudon and handled Yuri.

Was it saliva on the collar? Yuri flinched thinking what else could it be. One thing was sure - he wouldn’t be able to wear it without recalling that moment ever again. So, as a sweet ravage, he forced the idiots to get Katsudon new clothes right after that, enjoying every bit of Victor’s overdone suffering. At least before Victor reminded himself about being lame and had to show of his nipples to the entire mall, jeez!

* * *

Their flight back was in a few days and Yuri started thinking he actually survived the bizarre trip that on one had was actually a lot of fun and relaxing, but on the other had he would _die_ if he had to spend even one more day constantly in Victor’s presence then they'd planned. No one seemed to notice that Victor was acting weird with the whole topless thing, and that it wasn’t working on Katsudon anyway. It was so annoying. Yuri felt at times as if he imagined the whole thing, but hell no, that was impossible. It was one thing to walk naked under the shower in the changing room and completely another to untie your yukata in the middle of the dinner.

Silent creaking awakened Yuri completely and he couldn’t fall back to sleep for a while, so he decided to go to the kitchen and look for some yummy leftovers. He could worry about his proper athlete diet back in Petersburg, at least food could reward all the suffering he had to withstand during the trip. But whatever malicious fate deities where residing in the area, they had other plans.

Yuri came to the kitchen and saw The Old Man. Of course, always a step ahead, damn him, Victor was munching over a plate of what was definitely leftovers from the previous night tempura. Piece after piece, disappearing in an alarming speed in his mouth.

“Hi Yuthio!” Victor greeted him with full mouth. Some of the sauce fall into his bare skin and Yuri was done.

“What the actual fuck? What are you trying to achieve? Katsudon’s not even here!”

Victor gave him a surprised yet polite look and swallowed his food. “What?” He asked and seemed… lost. “Oh, do you want some?” He offered Yuri the halfway emptied plate, but Yuri had already lost his appetite.

“Get dressed!” Yuri yelled. “Katsudon ignores you anyway, so stop being a disgusting old man and get dressed, jeez!”

“I, Yuuri, what!?” As always, Victor played stupid.

“He doesn’t care, hello!” Yuri waved his hands but then dropped them, resigned. “Katsudon is… You know. He’s…” It was too early to speak, damn it.

“I’m what?” Yuuri came in, wearing Victor’s shirt over otherwise naked torso.

“You’re not, you know, sensitive to Victor fooling around half-naked wherever we go and acting like a lame bachelor uncle, that’s gross!”

"What are you talking about?" Yuuri seemed just as confused as Victor.

"NO! You're both worth of each other, old idiots!" Yuri yelled. "Victor tries to seduce you or shit the entire week flexing in front of you like a poor imitation of a stripper and you ignore it, consciously or not, doesn't matter, but it's so annoying, just stop being gross already!"

Yuuri was trying to muffle giggles. When he looked at Victor pouting to his plate, couldn’t withstand anymore and burst out laughing. That fucker.

“Oh my God!” Katsudon wiped a tear from his eye. “Victor, I told you… SO many times…” He took a few deep breaths trying to calm down but a look at Yuri and Victor caused next attack of laughing. “Oh my GOD!”

“What’s so funny about that?!” Yuri asked, arms crossed and voice unimpressed.

“Because…” Yuuri was fighting for a breath between giggles. “Ah! You thought Victor walks half naked to…” Yuuri couldn’t make it. “To s-se… To seduce me or something?”

Yuri felt his cheeks burning under the disbelieving look of Katsudon.

“Isn’t that obvious?”

“N-no?” Yuuri managed to articulate. “We’re talking about Victor, you should be grateful he politely wears something at all. I mean he isn’t that well behaving at…”

Yuri burned.

“Ok ok! I don’t wanna hear it!” Yuri stole a shrimp from Victor’s plate to do something just not to think about Victor cooking in all his naked glory. Or worse, cleaning. No no no no no, NO, stop, stop it, scroll back!

“V-victor, say something.” Yuri said.

Victor blinked, looking from Katsudon to Yuri and back.

“Well” Victor smiled “if it really was a seduction technique I thing it worked. At least tonight.”

Yuri wanted to _die_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personally I HC that once the season's over Yurio relieves all his emotions and is just an angry teenager =^-^=  
You have to excuse Yuuri's afterglow, he's not his normal sober self at the moment.
> 
> I wasn't sure if Yurio's POV is fine for this event so I tried to make this one as short as possible while it was the only way I could imagine dealing with the prompt :P Well, maybe not if it took place one year earlier but I think that wasn't the point


	3. Tissues and issues (Yuuri)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 3: Victuuri use the summer holidays (i.e. the summer part of the off-season) to attempt Proper Normal Couple Dates. These dated are not necessarily successes :3

Last part of mom’s food Tetris put in place and Yuuri closed the fridge with a sigh of satisfaction. He took his mug of green tea and fell onto the sofa to wait there for Makka and Victor coming back from their evening walk.

It felt weird to just sit and do nothing, sipping tea, even phone put aside, and it had nothing to do with the fact it was almost 10 p.m. but the sun felt like early afternoon. Being in Victor’s, their apartment, sitting on the very particular blue sofa and observing sun reflects on a certain huge detached lamp also wasn’t that. Neither was it the lightness after decluttering his closet, though he wasn’t going to admit in front of Victor it was even a thing. Not for at least next decade.

Tapping feet on the floor and counting the ridiculous amount of lamps on Victor’s, um, their ceiling, Yuuri wondered if they had anything planned for the next day and then he realised what was the weird feeling. They hadn’t. The next day was Sunday and there was nothing they had to do. No practice, no interviews, no packing and not even cleaning. No rush, because the closest event any of them was supposed to attend was in more than two weeks. He could just sit on the sofa tapping the floor and breathing, waiting for Victor.

Victor whom he didn’t have to chase anymore, because he was there, almost within hand’s reach, and he was not going anywhere. He was there and he would be there the next day, and the day after that and a year later and more. Not probably but certainly. Well, maybe not there if they decided to move out but Yuuri hoped they wouldn’t. He liked it there.

He had been chasing for Victor for too long. Even after he reached him there was always something to do, to polish, to prepare, train, arrange. The entire season, over a year since Victor appeared in his life as something more than a face and a distant persona. And once he did they never had time to just be, only stealing the hours from their catching up schedules. Even the trip to Hasetsu wasn’t a real rest, because they’d desperately tried to yank every possible moment and make it precious.

And all Yuuri wanted was just being with Victor, not under a pretext, but without any excuse, without the shade of expectations hanging between them. Just be, go out together and do the couply things other people did. He wasn’t hoping for too much… Right?

The door lock creaked and seconds later Yuuri was rammed by Makkachin, his mug fortunately emptied by the time.

“Yuuuuri, were you missing us?”

Yuuri pretended to be too absorbed by Makkachin because he didn’t want to admit that he actually did. That would be weird, probably.

“Um, Victor?” Yuuri asked once Makka got enough cuddles to calm a little. “Do you have any plans for tomorrow?”

Victor tilted head in the exact way that made Yuuri’s heart melt, meeelt, and he knew he had to end the conversation quickly, before he’d start to stutter.

“I don’t think so, why?” Victor said.

“Can we go out then?” Yuuri bit his lip. After a whole year of spending time together out of necessity and Victor arranging most of their time Yuuri felt weird taking the initiatives and… And Victor’s face told him that it was only worth it.

“Do you mean for a daaate?” Victor’s face was _so_ worth it, beaming and dangerously close to Yuuri’s. So close Yuuri could see in the blue of Victor’s eyes promise of something ridiculous and not fitting to Yuuri’s vision of a perfect Sunday afternoon. Something like showing off, an expensive restaurant and dressing up. Oh yeah, after the latest clothing affair it was definitely about dressing up. Yuuri had to intervene quickly.

“Yeah, but something casual maybe?” Yuuri said.

Victor’s visible eyebrow went up? “Casual?” Right. Yuuri still wasn’t sure if the word was even a part of Victor’s dictionary.

“Like going for a walk and getting ice cream? Something simple.” Yuuri might have overdo with highlighting the last word, but no.

“Say no more.” Victor grinned. “I know a perfect place.”

Yuuri definitely did not have bad feelings about it.

* * *

“Is this some kind of a weird Russian tradition that you have to choose the very exact ice cream shop where the line is the longest?” Yuuri teased. Or not the longest, where it just is. At least three other places to get ice cream in the area, all of them empty or with a few customers in, but no, they had to go to the one with several dozen of other people already waiting to get to the window. They managed to move halfway the line. Within almost half an hour! “Or what? Ice cream excursion would be considered failed if you didn’t spend enough time waiting?”

Victor waved his hand, completely proof to Yuuri’s sarcasm. Proof, because it still didn’t reach him that his honey was actually capable of it.

“There’s a lot of people because it’s the best.” Victor said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Besides, waiting in the line _is_ part of the experience.”

So they were moving in sluggish speed for another 20 minutes until they were close enough to see the flavours board. Long enough for a few people to recognise them and whisper. Maybe Yuuri was paranoid, but he could swear he felt eyes on his back and wanted to get his cone asap and go. Right, better choose something before they get there. Yuuri glanced at the board and frowned. At first he was happy to see they were printed because a few months earlier he had _almost_ get over part of his anxiety and then he was introduced to Russian cursive.

But all that meant nothing because there wasn’t a single flavour Yuuri could make out. No strawberry or chocolate. The only word Yuuri knew was vanilla but there was something to it, so he gave up and asked Victor, who for some reason couldn’t stand still and was balancing on his feet like an excited child.

“Today from diary they have zabaglione, poppy seed and almond with vanilla and… I’m not sure how you call it in English but it’s something like caramel. And on the sorbet side there’s red currant with mango, pear with sage…”

“Wait.” Yuuri tried to stop him.

“… and, um, the little green balls.”

“The what?”

“The little green balls. The green berries. I have no idea how they’re called in English.”

“Oh, fine. And?”

“And what?”

“And the rest?” Yuuri asked.

“That’s all.” Victor said.

Yuuri was confused.

“People wait for an hour in a line to ice cream shop that offers exactly six flavours? Seriously?”

“Oh, yes. That’s why it’s good to wait because you have time to choose something.”

“Come on, how long can it take to choose from the _wide verity_ of six flavours?” Yuuri teased.

Victor gave him a judging look, the exact same when Yuuri tried to avoid confrontation with other competitors or flee from journalists, and Yuuri gulped.

“So? What are you taking?”

Yuuri blushed. “What were the flavours again?

* * *

They got their cones and headed to the nearby park. Yuuri felt weird satisfaction bypassing all the people in the line he was finally able to leave.

“Yuuri, help!” Victor’s whined.

Victor’s huge cone was packed with too much ice cream and it was melting down his cone and fingers in a sweet sticky stream. Typical.

“Get me a tissue.” Victor whined again, angling his cone so that the melted ice cream didn’t reach his shoes. Yuuri had no tissues so he was going to come back to the shop to grab a napkin but he couldn’t resist and licked some of the melted ice cream form Victors cone and holding it fingers.

“You were right, they’re really good.” Yuuri teased.

“Yuuuuri!”

“Here, take these!” A girl standing in the line handed him a packet of tissues.

Another “Yuuuuri!” reminded him that there was something more important than thanking the girl, just as embarrassed as Yuuri, and he turned to wipe Victor’s fingers and cone. There was a significant amount of ice cream on Victor’s ring finger and it would be a shame to let it waste so Yuuri licked it as well, rolling his eyes on Victor’s silly comment. Once the situation was fully under control they went lazily to the park.

“So, was it worth waiting?”

Without warning Yuuri took a lick from Victor’s cone and tasted it for a while.

“Yes, actually.”

Victor beamed. “Don’t move.”

“Um.”

Victor leaned and licked Yuuri’s nose. “You got ice cream there.” He shrugged.

They were halfway through their second round through the park and didn’t even ate the ice cream when Yuuri’s phone started furiously beeping. Yuuri ignored it at first but a while after Victor’s did the same and they didn’t seem to stop anytime soon, so they quickly ate the rest of their cones and dived for their phones.

There were dozens of messages from Phichit and a few from other friends, same on Victor’s side instead that Chris’ were leading. Yuuri swallowed. This looked as if a social media affair was about to start and heard Victor giggling next to him.

“You look so hot here.” Victor said, showing him his screen, set up on Instagram, where was a picture of him and a half of Victor. Slightly blurry but it was definitely Yuuri licking ice cream out of Victor’s entire ring finger. Ringed finger.

#victuuri #victuurings #icecream #petersburg #hotday #hotdate #katsukiyuuri #victornikiforov #relationshipgoals #figureskating #phichit+chu #gottaseethis

No…

But as blurry as it was it wasn’t that bad. They could pretend it was somebody else, pretending? Right? That was Yuuri thought before he opened Phichit’s messages and saw a photo. _The photo._ Nooo…

If something could be gorgeous and bad at the same time that was it. That was _the_ _photo_. Yuuri on the right, his hair secured with sunglasses, a few strands escaped to his forehead, licking the melting ice cream from Victor’s cone. Whoever took the photo caught the perfect moment when Yuuri’s tongue seemed indecently long, halfway between licking Victor’s fingers and the cone. Yuuri was squinting from the sun, but in the context of the situation it looked erotic, especially paired with Victor’s surprised face. Someone who didn’t know Victor could consider his look innocent. Yuuri wished he could sink into the ground.

#victuuri #lickmysoulbaby #katsukiyuuri #victornikiforov #icecreamdate #watchyourdiet #mynewsreenlock

“I want this on my screen lock too!” Victor tweeted over his shoulder, as if getting photographed on during their First Proper Normal Couple Date was nothing to be surprised of.

Victor was chirping about how cute they were when Phichit sent him another photo, of Victor licking Yuuri’s nose. Yuuri’s anxiety and paranoia™ turned on and he grabbed Victor’s arm, speeding back home.

* * *

Their second attempt was going to the cinema. Too dark to get photoed, nothing to melt on your fingers, and even if somehow the world decided to inform them that yes, they were tracked down, their phones would be silenced anyway.

As far as it was from Yuuri’s taste, Victor chose a romantic comedy and Yuuri couldn’t make himself tell him they weren’t his thing. And it was Victor who was important, not the movie.

They were to meet in the cinema, because earlier Victor had to go somewhere with Yurio and was very mysterious about it, murmuring something about promises and paying off debts. It was past the official séance beginning and Yuuri was waiting equipped in a bag of popcorn and water (to balance the calories) when Victor ran in, hair slightly messy and nose red. That was more red than usually.

“Are you ok?” Yuuri asked, leading him to the entrance.

“Now I am.” Victor said nasally, pulling out a package of tissues.

They excused their way to their places and Victor sank into his seat with a blissful face. Than without a warning he sneezed loudly and covered his mouth with a tissue.

“You’re sick!” Yuuri whispered. “We should go home.”

“N-no, I’m” another sneeze “fine.”

“Victor…”

“Yurio forced me to go to a cat café with him.” Victor pouted, as if that was a really bad joke.

Yuuri felt betrayed.

“Why didn’t you take me too?”

“Oh.” Victor managed to say before another sneeze. “I never think of it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like a place someone other than Yurio would wanna go.” Victor blew his nose, trying to be a quiet as possible and failing. “Yuuuuri.” He moaned. “I’m allergic to cats.”

Yuuri was living surrounded by idiots.

“And you agreed to go there?!”

“I had to.” Victor said.

“Are you…”

A lady sitting above them turned around and shushed them. They didn’t even notice the movie began.

It was quiet for a minute or two, when Victor was trying to supress his reaction to the cats, but then an accumulated sneeze sounded in the theatre. The lady shushed them again and Yuuri desperately tried not to giggle.

Next time Victor sneezed he managed to mute it but Yuuri had to shove a handful of popcorn into his mouth to stop himself from laughing and almost chocked. With Yuuri trying to caught the popcorn out by his side Victor couldn’t store his breath and blew a hole in his tissue. Scraps of it were soaring in front of them, catching light from the projector and settling down on the shushing lady’s head. Yuuri laughed loudly, which in no way matched the moment on the screen and gained a well-deserved knock in his seat from behind.

Victor’s allergy calmed down and they tried to catch up on the story, rather unsuccessfully. Victor was fully absorbed by picking the tissue scraps from his T-shirt and Yuuri by staring at Victor’s glowed profile, the movie be damned.

Done with the scraps, Victor took a handful of popcorn and put it into his mouth. Or rather tried to put it, because the moment he open his mouth another wave of sneezing approached him and he sent the popcorn flying in the shushing lady's direction.

The lady left.

They left five minutes later, asked out by the staff.

* * *

After their unsuccessful attempt to spend a day by the lake (an hour in the car and it started to rain cats and dogs) followed by a certain roller skating disaster (what do you mean friction changes?!) and two mixed restaurant reservations (that were definitely not Victor’s-noting-is-for-weaklings-motto’s fault) Yuuri was convinced they were cursed somehow. Wherever they went, whatever they wanted to do, whenever they planned, there was always something to mess it up. Not to mention the fans, that seemed to be non-existent in the real world as long as they actually wanted to be alone.

All Yuuri asked for was some time with Victor, unmarked by the coach-student relationship, publicity or skating. Yes, even by skating. He wanted Victor all to himself, as selfish as it was. Even if it meant closing themselves for a day in their flat and pretend they didn’t exist.

And that was exactly what Yuuri decided to do. Stay at home with Victor. Make sure they both were rested. Get ingredients and make food together. Watch a movie petting Makka. Get a box of bath bombs. Light some candles. If it was just for Victor, he could even dress up.

“Ok. If we stay at home there’s nothing that can go wrong. No paparazzi, no fans, no closed places, no bad weather. The only problem I can think of is Phichit jumping out of the fridge and that won’t happen, he wasn’t there last time I checked, so it should be fine. Right?” Yuuri looked at Victor as if he still wasn’t convinced it was going to work but why wouldn’t it? They just wanted to spend time together in a more festive way than falling asleep on the doorstep after training and more ordinary than kissing in front of cameras. Just like normal people did. Like normal… Yuuri looked at Victor. Normal, ordinary people? Whom he was trying to trick.

Victor was pouring wine into their glasses when the doorbell rang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's something that makes me feel bad about this chapter and I even delayed posting it for two days cause when I read it before posting for the first time I kind of hated it. Maybe that's the weather outside my windows that completely doesn't match the fic? Or maybe it's because there was entire roller skating date but then I thought it was completely unlikely to happen .-. I don't know. Now or never.
> 
> The little green balls are gooseberry btw :D


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